Had a bad dream last night - need to process. Mostly it was C and I screaming at each other, mostly about money. things are so tight right now I feel like screaming for real. In the dream C was telling me that we need to just go get a personal accountant to take care of things, I was telling her we couldn't afford it. Then she 'reminded' me that I was getting closer to 40, when I needed to have a job where I could stay home with the kids all day. I lost it. I tried telling her that I needed to see someone with that kind of job arrangement so I could emulate it - I was willing if I could just see it. I would do whatever, but I was trying to get across to her that she had unrealistic expectations. Of course, all the while, yelling at the top of my lungs. While I was "explaining" my position, she just turned and walked away.

It didn;t help, that the first thing she asked me after we both woke up was "So can I still not go shopping for School supplies today?" I didn't yell, but I have been a bit cranky this morning.

The dream really hits on my feeling inadequate - esp. when supporting my family. I work hard at a job I enjoy, but I just don't make enough money. We could LIVE on what I make, but not where we are now. We would have to discharge all of our debts except the house in order to make it. C probably won't be able to work much longer, and then it'll all be on me.

No pressure, or anything.