I should go to sleep, but I can't, and I don't want to. Been chatting w/ Loki and Mark, both at different phases of the same conversation. What happened, where did it go wrong, how to fix things. I pray every day things will get better, and if I could WILL them better, they would be. I have that much will. But do I have the will to act? Hmmm. .. seems to be the crux of the problems. Loki suggests I write to C. I think it's a good idea. I found something I wrote 10 years ago, I think it's what I want.

A wise one once told me:

"If it's just bodies, it's
Not making love.
It's having sex.
If it's just minds, it's
Friendship.
If just souls,
A connection.

Until you merge all three my child,
You're just going through the motions.


THAT's what I want again. . . .

I'm going to bed. . .